To all the guys I've loved before

I've been thinking about how fortunate I am to have some wonderful men in my life. 

There were my Grandpas, Asahel (the tall one) and Otto (the short German) who were an integral part of my life as I was growing up. They lived just around the corner from me and across the street from each other. I couldn't have been more spoiled if I'd asked to be!

 

Then there is my Dad  ------------------------> As many of you know he had a very rough summer. He's a very wise person, he encourages learning. In fact, when I was accepted to graduate school he was the first person I told, because I knew he would be most excited. Dad could do anything when I was younger. He could fix it, make it, adjust it, figure it out, bend it without breaking it, and bake it to perfection. He can't quite do what he used to do, but he still does pretty well.

 

 Next is my baby brother, Joel. I love calling him my baby brother, because he's far from a baby!! He stands 6'5" and he used to be a lineman in high school. He is my dealer when it comes to books and reading. Somehow, even with all he does with his family and business he finds time to search out some great books. I know that when I am short on reading material I have only to make one phone call and I'll be set!

 

 Then comes my husband. He is the best man for me, no question. Neither of us has had the easiest time when it comes to our previous lives, but together (for us) is better. He is smart, happy, level headed and totally in love with me!!

Last, are my boys! Brennan, Jeffrey, and Josh. Jeff is my only biological son, I was fortunate enough to get Brennan and Josh along with Gary. All of them, smart, happy and good to the women in their lives (moms, significant others and their one sister).

So, what is all this leading up to, you may ask (or you may be hoping I'm finished..but no)? Back to my thinking.....

I did a lot of dating between my marriages, something I didn't do much of (ok, didn't do ANY of) in high school and I have discovered that good men, like the ones in my life, are few and far between. 

I dated men who still lived with their parents, who were jobless and mooching, who were only after a quick trip to the bedroom (oh, yeah, that was a short lived trip for them with me), who lied about their age, weight and marital status (that is another post in and of itself).

Suffice it to say, one amusing conversation with the wife of a married (unbeknownst to me until the call) man I went out with once was enough for me to nearly call on a PI every time I had a date planned.

There were men who told me I was raising my children wrong, I even had one tell me that the reason my son wouldn't "fight" a bully was because he was a mama's boy and didn't have a good male influence in his life. 

Um...hey, doofus, guess who taught that boy to throw/catch a football AND all the rules to the game?? 

Yeah, not you, fool! 

Then there were the totally physical guys, the ones that would tell you they'd love to take you home and spend the night, but had to be sure they were awake in time for church meeting at 7. 

Wow, how gullible do you think I am?? 

One of my favorite lines by some egotistical, self-centered type, after a great kiss or some sort of crazy make out session was "I bet no one has ever done THAT for you huh??"

What the hell? Do you think I've been celibate for the last 30 years??

Guys, do you really think you're the ONLY one who can do  "that" to a girl??

Then there were the guys who talked big but could never, NEVER follow through on anything they claimed they were good at doing, getting, or accomplishing.  It was one constant let down after another.

After two failures to do anything you've said you can or will do, why should I believe anything else that comes out of your mouth, that does nothing but offer lip service??

All of this said, my cousin has told me that I should write a book about my dating experiences, sadly, it wouldn't be much different than many of the other books you see about women and dating and the subsequent disasters that typically occur. 

To all the guys I've "loved" before....take a lesson:

I think the difference between me and whatever girl it was that settled on you could be that I have ALWAYS had good, honest, reliable, real, happy, smart, stable, men who have been an influence for good in my life. Because of them I won't settle for being treated any less than I should be - by ANY man at ANY time.