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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Listening....huh?...I said, L-I-S-T-E-N-I-N-G

Listen: to pay attention to sound, to give consideration
Hear: to perceive or apprehend by ear

Listening is a lost art.

No, you say? I beg to differ. When was the last time you listened? I mean really listened? What did your child ask you today? What bird did you hear outside your open window this morning? Can you tell me the kind of plane that flew over your house a few minutes ago (did you even realize one did)? 

I blame the lack of listening on too much sound, noise, if you will. For a very few of us (I would not be one) it is possible to open your window and not hear traffic noise. One day I want a place where I can do that.

I remember performing in Scottsbluff, Nebraska one fall. The town hosted us and we were assigned out to various homes in the area where we would spend the night. I don't remember the name of the couple that I stayed with but what I do remember is going to a very large house on the outskirts of Scottsbluff. There were two things about this house that struck me; first, was the ungodly amount of knicknacks, none of which had a single speck of dust on them (how she kept them clean was beyond me, she must have been dusting constantly). Second, was the silence out there on the prairie, it was almost disconcerting. 

My room had a small patio attached to it with a sliding glass door that I cracked open for ventilation. After I turned out the light I could see out the door to the prairie sky...it was endless and there was not a sound. It was too cold for crickets, there was no road anywhere close, there were no trees (after all, it was Nebraska). Just as I was drifting off my ears heard something, being a city girl, it unnerved me. I sat up and focused my ears - I heard it a second time, no doubt, it was a coyote howling out there on the prairie.

It scared me - wolves are one of my biggest fears (a blog post for another day), and while a coyote is not a wolf, it was close enough for me. However, as I think back on it I feel fortunate to have heard that sound. If I had been plugged in to a walkman (no ipods then folks) I would have missed out on this beautiful, lonesome, haunting howl. 

My job requires me to listen. If I didn't, or couldn't, I would be an ineffectual teacher, it would be pointless for me to be in the classroom. There are times I think my students are ineffectual because they don't listen! Then I remember, most of them don't know HOW to listen. They are always plugged in (and I'm sorry, this just doesn't count as listening), texting (which doesn't require their ears, but try asking a kid who is texting to do something), or multitasking in some form. 

I have to be VERY pointed when it comes to a "listening" day in my classroom. No phones, no paper, no pencil, NOTHING in hands, no talking. The interesting thing is many of these kids can't do it. They can't just sit and listen. They become restless, some even become agitated.

It only hits home to them when it comes to concert time, when they realize, as they look out into the audience, that their friends and family who have come to support and (supposedly) listen to them are out there playing games on an ipod, reading a book, or socializing.These student musicians have worked hard to learn and perfect a product for people to listen to, and sadly, few people out there are actually listening.  

This "lack of listening" has caused a decline in the quality of what we listen to. It has caused rifts in families, it has caused agreements to be breached, it has caused failure in marriage, it has caused government breakdown. Is there anything more important than listening? I'm sure some of you will argue the point, which is fine - I will listen to your argument, but I stand by the statement I make many times a year in class - God gave us ONE mouth and TWO ears...which tells me that engaging our ears and listening (not just hearing) is of far more importance than opening our mouths and wagging our tongue.

So - can YOU do it? Can you sit and do nothing but listen? Choose what to listen to. A good start might be a child or a spouse, or you could open a window and identify what is out there by ear. Be prepared to be uncomfortable, it is different to listen, especially if you're one that tends to be doing 10 things at once while trying to hear something or what someone is saying. Don't judge, don't comment, don't try to fix the problem unless you are specifically asked, don't type, don't text, don't sew, don't simply mute the tv - turn it off, don't fold, don't slice, don't wipe the counter....stop.....just listen.